Sacramento's Most Eligible Bachelor is a Real PEACH!!!

Awesome SMEB shoutout from a popular gardening blog

"Somewhere -- a peach tree lives. An Elberta Peach tree at that. Smack, smack, that's good eating folks. If all goes to plan, this Elberta tree will produce its first crop of peaches next year. There's nothing like a tree-ripened Elberta peach in mid-August. I didn't get nearly enough of them this year..."

The gloomy Sacramento River

River with a view

Top 5 movie list

This list is always changing, although there will usually always be a solid few that don’t move. 

 

Top Gun: If you know me, you already know this. It shouldn’t a surprise that the best movie ever made would make my top 5 list. This is by far Tom Cruise’s best movie.  Jets, hot blonde chicks, pianos, motorcycles, Oceanside, Miramar, Goose, Iceman: it’s all a recipe for success, a beautiful, beautiful 80’s success. I love this movie and everything about it. I thank Tony Scott for directing this epic cinema because it allowed me to learn ever verse of “Lost that Loving Feeling”. Now I sing it on a daily basis.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off: Another classic tale of American teenagers doing what American teenagers do best, mischief. I know that I couldn’t wait to get to high school so I could steal my dad’s car and terrorize my Dean of Students. I love this movie. I love the Ferrari, Sloan, Ferris; I even love the naysayer of the century, Cameron. I love when the valet at the parking lot says, “What country you think this is?” Unfortunately, Ferris Bueller grew up to be Matthew Broderick, but still, amazing movie. Nine times.

The Departed: The accents are so likable in this movie. The Boston accent is so appealing and addicitive. Anytime I watch this movie you better watch out because I’ll pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd. Omg, please stop me. That was ridiculous. But seriously, it is addicting. “Do you want to be a cop or do you want to appear to be a cop.” LOVE that line! Leo, Jack, Matt and Mark kill it (and each other) in this movie! I applied with the Massachusetts State Troopers after seeing this but I wouldn’t drop my R’s enough and they declined my application.

Love Actually: First off, no, I am not gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that. But Love Actually just does something for me. The Beach Boys soundtrack, Christmas, Hugh Grant, politics, plumpy: this movie has it all! Anyone who knows me should know (and therefore mock me for) the fact that I like romantic comedies. They are funny and everything always works out in the end.  The speech that Jamie gives to Aurelia at the end is so amazing. He speaks Portuguese about as good (well) as I speak English.

Blues Brothers: I can watch this movie over and over and over. I grew up watching it. It reminds me of being a badass little kid (aka: a nerd). The best part of this movie is the “do you see the light?” part. Omg, just thinking of it makes me laugh. Jake Blues doing cartwheels and flips down the aisle. I hope you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t, please go watch this movie! Blues Brothers 2000 was a travesty. But the original is untouchable.

Movie Review: Overboard

Have you ever seen the movie Overboard?

Spoiler alert. If you haven’t seen this 1987 movie by now, you should just go ahead and read this post.

Overboard is your standard 80’s romantic comedy. Boy meets girl. Girl is mean to boy. Boy is mean to girl. Girl gets kidnapped by boy. Boy tricks her. Girl realizes trick. Girl runs away. Boy chases girl. Girl comes back. Boy is happy. Girl is rich. Boy is even happier.

The plot of this movie is simple.  Dean Proffitt (played by Kurt Russell) tricks Joanna Slayton (Goldie Hawn) into thinking she is wife after she has a case of amnesia. He kidnaps her because she threw him and his tools overboard her huge yacht. He wanted revenge.

The next day he sees a story about a random women found off the coast of Oregon with a case of amnesia.  It was her.  This is Proffitt’s perfect time to strike.  He goes out of his way to go to the hospital and trick the doctors into thinking she is his wife.  He brings her home and tells her she lives there and that she’ll have to clean and cook for his sons.  The house is a pig sty. She registers her doubts that she ever lived like this, but old Dean does his best at convincing her that this is her life.

Did Proffitt ever think about the emotional effect that kidnapping a women and tricking her into being a mom would have had on his four sons. What kind of lessons is he teaching here? “Well boys, as long as she owes you money you can do what you want. Whoa. His little accomplices had to change and adapt their life to accommodate for their new slave-mom.  Hey boys, this lady has lost her memory. I’m going to trick her into thinking that she is your mom and that we’ve been married for 13 years. “Dad, why are you doing this, what did she ever do to you?” one of the boys should have asked.  Proffitt would have answered, “Well son, she didn’t pay me for the sub-par work I did, then when she thought I was going to attack her, she threw me and my toolbox overboard”.  This rational conversation never took place.  Dean Proffitt forces her to sleep on a dirty couch under a leaky roof, cook, clean, and do motherly things. At first, she is obviously bad at everything, but over the span of her involuntary lockup, she gradually gets better. I won’t bore you with details that you already know, but she eventually regains her memory and realizes that Dean Proffitt is not her actual husband, the boys are not hers, she doesn’t live in Oregon, and that she is married to someone else.

 

Her slimy husband eventually returns to rescue her. She leaves her captor and goes back to a life of luxury, only to quickly realize that she actually loves that old beer drinking lug.  Comedy ensues when US Coast Guard gets involved.  The happy couple is eventually reunited. She tells her new family that it’s not her husband who is rich, it’s her.  All of Dean Proffitt’s wishes came true. He opened the mini-golf course he always dreamed of and his boys got the mom they always wanted.  

If this weren’t a romantic comedy, Dean Proffitt surely would have gone to jail for 25-to-life for reckless endangerment, kidnapping, and enslavement.  Goldie Hawn’s character had a clear case of Stockholm Syndrome.

All of this being said, I love this movie. Kurt Russell is a rock star of an actor. Probably one of God’s great gifts to the acting world. I basically love anything that he’s in.  I’m not the biggest Goldie Hawn fan, however, she has a pretty sweet name. Goldie seems like the name of some Scotty Dog. Or an 80’s villain.

installing recessed canlights in my living room.

shopping for the right tools

 

the hardware

before

pops connecting the first light

first cut of the day. sheet metal is sharp, who knew

heading into the attic

apparently breathing fiberglass hurts

starting to hook them up

close up of the connections

ahh, finished! you cant see the last two. there are 8 total

**I make it look like I did this project myself, however, special thanks to my pops who, without his knowledge, know-how, money and generally everything else, this project would have never even been contemplated.

costumes over the years

Mexican Drug Lord: That night I was a cowboy. But the next day I saw this picture. I feel like I look menacing, which is why I now claim I was a Mexican Drug lord. This is basically an outfit I would wear any day, except I added a holster and a fake mustache. 

60’s college student: A friend of mine had a WTF party. I of course had a million great ideas of what to wear. I didn’t follow through on a single one.  The day of the party I realized that my lack of planning was probably going to negatively affect my costume. I panicked and used what I could. A mustard-yellow cardigan, blue shirt, vans and a UCSB beanie with a pom. You see the results. A weirdo with a beanie on. It is what it is.

 

Bjorn Borg: Calling this costume Bjorn Borg is probably a stretch. But 70’s tennis player? err, maybe. The shorts were short. The shirt was tight. I had a track jacket, a wig and head and arm bands. Tall socks and the Rod Laver Adidas’. It was the best I could do. At one point I wore an afro and called myself John McEnroe.  

Gorilla Cowboy Sheriff:  I bought this full size gorilla costume months before Halloween.  Finally October arrives and I put it on. Dude. It was like 105 degrees in there. No way was I wearing it outside the house. But the mask, hands and feet were useful. I brought back the cowboy hat and holster, only this time I put on a badge. And I became a gorilla cowboy sheriff. (Although, actually that badge says Marshall on it.)

Greenman: “Holy shit dude, how long have I been wearing Greenman.”I went to this really badass party in San Francisco this year. We stayed at the Marine’s Memorial Hotel.  There were all sorts of distinguished guests staying there; I don’t know how I weaseled my way into a room.  One of my favorite memories of the night was, while wearing the (extremely tight and revealing) costume we shared an elevator down with some legitimate Marine Generals.  They had nothing but disgust and discontent for me.  Then we had to walk to the streets of San Francisco looking for a cab. It was interesting. But like I said, badass party.  The mask was really stifling so I barely wore it. Definitely posed an issue while drinking beer.  Rambo and Captain America were there too. 

 

Elvis: Again, not as cool as I had planned. My awesome friend Kellie took my polyester jump suit and bedazzled it for me.  I went from ordinary to a little better than ordinary in two.point.two. I wore the rings. I wore the glasses. I wore the scarf.  I dyed my hair. Still, this was it. A little disappointed, but nothing the one beer I had that night didn’t fix. 

 

Magnum, P.I.: Probably one of the best ones I’ve ever done. Tiny shorts, boat shoes, Hawaiian print shirt, Tigers hat and a sweet pairing of a mustache and aviators.  Also, a cool black wig. It was cold that night. We were at an outside party in October. But it was all so worth it.  My homage to a great American icon and hero. 

 

Cameron Frye: what a horrible choice I made here.  As you can see, my buddies’ costumes were all well thought out and turned out pretty awesome. My driving cap, redwing’s jersey, khakis and boat shoes just did not all come together as cool I had hoped. No one got it. I did wear an Army shirt and suspenders underneath. 

Hagrid: “You’re a wizzzard, Harry.”

 

Toga: this wasn’t a Halloween party, obviously. I was in college and threw my first toga party. Amazingly, people came! It was so fun. I would throw another one in a heartbeat. 

Spiderman: I was young. Times were different back then. Costumes were meant to be tight. I’m pretty sure that this particular spiderman costume was made for 10 year old boys. But I squeezed myself into it and the outcome was priceless.  Ron Burgundy was obviously impressed.

Gecko:  Bought this sweet Gecko costume a few months before Halloween. It was a “just-in-case” outfit. The day it came was probably in the top 5 best days in my life (obviously I live a boring life).  I haven’t got a chance to wear it yet, but here is a preview.

My New Years Eve, 2011.

My home bar.